Author’s Note: I will no longer attach previous parts/episodes to the new part/episode that I post each week. If interested in previous parts/episodes of this storyline, please see previous posts. Thanks for reading!
Part 12: Foggy…
Derek could hardly believe his ears. Pregnant? Another child?! I’m not ready for this! “5 kids! I can’t believe it,” Derek finally emoted to Patricia, walking over to give her a big hug. Patricia was trembling with joy and excitement. Derek could feel the intensity of her emotions as he stood there with her in the kitchen. As he embraced Patricia, his mind swirled with the fog of war. Guess it’s not time to die, Derek thought to himself…Not. Time. To. Die.
The next day was Sunday – a day Derek had come to love and hate all at the same time. He loved his moment to preach from the Bible. He truly found the Bible to be fascinating – “life and light”, he frequently referred to the Scriptures as. But he also hated Sundays because that’s the day where tribal leaders of various church factions would meet to plot, organize, and advance their specific pet peeve missions. Whether it was tribal leaders feuding over music styles or church politics, there was never a shortage of unnecessary drama and brewing division on Sundays at church.
As was his usual style, Derek prayed as he got ready to head to the church. Brushing his teeth, he tried to talk to the Lord, but the words in his brain fell flat. God, you know I love you, but…Derek’s mind was a mushy blend of foggy thoughts…He tried again…God, I do love you…His mind continued to dance in a plethora of different directions…Indeed, as he prayed, his mind seemed to dance to disco music in a dark and crowded room…
Spitting the rest of the toothpaste out of his mouth, Derek was “ready” for church. It’s go time. Let’s just get this done and over with…
As Derek stood in the sanctuary, he sang with the congregation. He stood in the front row of the sanctuary. A perfect spot to get stabbed in the back, Derek darkly thought to himself. Man alive, this place is packed out. Why are they all here? And do they really believe what they’re all singing? Each song in the set list, made Derek more irritable and anxious. There was a song about the love of Christ. There’s no love here – just hate – just war. There was another song about the joy of Christ. There’s no joy here – just misery – just war. There was yet another song about the peace of Christ. There’s no peace here – just conflict – just war...God, help me! I need to focus. Please get rid of this carnal, foggy, irritable thinking…As the last song faded, Derek took to the platform, Bible and sermon notes in hand. “Good morning!”, Derek said with an enthusiasm that almost shocked himself. “Hope you all are doing well on this beautiful Lord’s Day that God has given to us. Say, just before we get going with today’s message – a message that I’m sure will be encouraging to each of our hearts – my wife and I have some very exciting news…We’re pregnant with baby #5!” As the words slipped from his mouth, the congregation erupted in thunderous applause with a few shouts of “Amen! Praise the Lord!” Even my enemies are clapping right now, Derek thought to himself with slight amusement. “Thank you. We’re both very excited. Well, let’s get to work. If you have a Bible, please turn with me to…”
The message was a solid 50 minutes. Derek had spoken on the need for courage in dark and difficult days. He was passionate, precise, and personable. The congregation listened with eagerness and seemed to be genuinely helped by the sermon. Indeed, most of the congregation loved Derek’s preaching, eager to hear him week after week. But as Derek descended from the platform, his mind became foggy again…Terrible sermon. Wish I could re-preach it. I honestly wonder why I suck so bad at this. Hope no one leaves the church over another dud sermon. And Derek honestly believed this. In fact, 9 out of 10 times, he would leave the preaching platform annoyed with himself, desiring to do better. The pursuit of the perfect sermon was an absolute obsession for Derek. And as always, he thought to himself, I’ll try again next Sunday…
As the final song came to a close, and the dismissal was given, Derek turned around to see two long-time (and prominent in the community) members walk towards him – Paul & Bob. “Pastor, nice sermon. Hey, we need to talk. It’s kind of urgent and private. Can we meet in your office?” Paul was clearly the spokesman as Bob just stood there in silence with a grave look on his face. “Sure,” Derek said, dreading what was to come.
As they got to Derek’s office, Paul went right into it. “Pastor, have you seen this?” Paul shoved his phone inches from Derek’s face. “Pastor, they’re starting their own church. They plan to take about a 1/3 of the congregation with them.” Paul’s voice began to catch in his throat as the emotions of his anger rushed to the surface. “It’s mutiny,” Bob said flatly and in a monotone. “They’re going to kill the church,” Paul responded back. “Pastor, what do you want us to do?” Paul and Bob looked directly at Derek, but Derek was frozen into place – foggy and frail…”Pastor? We’ve got to do something.” But Derek was far, far away…